Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 2!
AK, I was very glad to get this question. It is quite relevant in light of so many people losing their jobs in this economy. I have to start by saying that 90% of the votes were in favor of you “Hitching,” and, I for one, would “sort of” agree.
I say sort of because I would first like for you to think back on why you fell in love. Think of that moment when you realized that you wanted the “perfect wedding” to be with him. Now, try to remember if his income ever entered your mind at that time. One reader commented that you sounded like you were more in love with the idea of your perfect wedding than you were with him. If that is the case then you should absolutely Ditch. But if you love him, if you want to be married to him for the rest of your life regardless of his income, or lack thereof, then marry him. I would be willing to bet that in your vows there will be something along the lines of “for richer or for poorer.” Well, it looks like your marriage may start out on the latter end of that scale, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Now is the time that you have to help him see his strengths. We all need a little nudging at times (and let’s face it ladies, women are the strength behind most men, whether they want to believe it or not). There is a great deal of pride that a man derives from being able to be the “hunter and gatherer” in his home. When he faces the possibility of not being able to do so, it is not uncommon for him to have feelings of self-doubt. Be there for him. Comfort and encourage him and for goodness sake…scale back the wedding!
What if, instead of a huge costly blow-out wedding, you had a small celebration with close friends and family where you both exchange your vows and promise to be there for each other through thick or thin? Spend the money on something that will help the two of you in the first few years of marriage like paying off debt. Then, after he has regained his financial footing, you both renew your vows on your anniversary as both a celebration of getting through the tough times together and his newly found employment.
My final advice to you…purchase the March issue of DIY WEDDINGS MAGAZINE where yours truly will be giving more wedding advice in my column Ask M Famous, and find a way to be more frugal. Rest assured that your marriage will have many bumps and rough patches. Just as it will have many glorious unforgettable moments. Keep in mind that he is the person you fell in love with and HITCH him – just cheaper! Remember my dear, “The marriage is not the blessing, the fact that there are two people who choose to be married is!” (That’s my quote, feel free to use it.)
Keep those Hitch or Ditch stories coming in and YOU might just be in the next issue of HITCH OR DITCH. Thank you all for your responses and votes.
Until next time stay fabulous, live beautiful and always be M Famous!
Mr. M Famous