Thursday has arrived once again! Time for Hitch or Ditch – Round 5!  The newest entry is below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  You have until Saturday night at midnight to vote and offer advice!  Sunday, as usual, I will tally the votes and give my final rundown of what the public thinks about the fate of these couples.  Keep those stories rolling in! Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Dear Mr. MFamous,

Sorry for the confusion on how to write in for Hitch or Ditch. It has been quite a day today and to be quite honest I might regret even sending you this email but I am about to bust to talk about this and I don’t have anyone in my life that is impartial enough to talk to. This ordeal involves all of my best girlfriends and I have never felt so alone. So tonight I went for wine with my favorite girls. I mean we lived together in college, some of us still live together now. In theory they know me better than anyone else. I met my boyfriend a little over a year ago at a networking event for work. Admittedly, he pursued me more at first. I just wasn’t that interested. I thought he would make a great friend, but never considered dating him until he asked me out for coffee and then drinks and then dinner. Over the past year, we have really developed a strong relationship. So much that I even feel a little guilty for not liking him at first. I love him. Well apparently he contacted one of BFF’s in the group to help him plan a proposal. Which I love. He is trying to make it perfect for me. But tonight I found out that the reason for our dinner was so my friends could tell me that they don’t picture me marrying him. Half way into the evening they all got these really serious looks on their faces and one of them says to me “we just thought you would marry someone a little preppier.”  They told me they like him just fine, but they are worried that me marrying him would be a mistake. I just sat there and listened. Even now, I don’t know how to react. I mean they have been sitting around discussing us behind our backs but I really can see myself with him forever but they have known me for so long, maybe I’m the one that’s wrong. And I just feel sick that he contacted them for help and they are saying this about him. If I marry him anyway will they always think less of me? What a mess.

Thanks
Sam

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  “Sam” needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Thank you all for supporting the mascara promotion!  As many of you know, I created Christopher Macken Cosmetics, a brand of high-end, high quality cosmetics.  This weekend we “tested the waters” with a Twitter teaser, asking for new and existing followers to re-tweet and follow in order to be eligible to win.  The response was wonderful!  I am truly grateful!

After the random drawing, the winners were chosen. Click HERE and HERE to see if you were the lucky winner! If you were the lucky winner, email me and include your mailing address.   Congrats!  If you weren’t the lucky winner this time, remember, I am going to be giving away something new every week – from wine to sub sandwiches. If you would like to be entered to win products from some of my favorite places, subscribe to the weekly M Famous Monday’s newsletter by clicking here. Thank you again and good luck next week!

Mr M Famous

Happy Sunday morning everyone. Below is our toughest Hitch or Ditch yet. If you missed the story of our husband in need, read it here, before checking out my take below.

STW, I have tried to write this response so many times, and every time I have found myself feeling so hurt for you.  The fact of the matter is, your story reminds me of a prior relationship, and therefore, I found myself inadvertently responding to my situation instead of yours.  So this morning, as I sit here with my coffee, going back over the responses (which by the way were MANY), I am ready to try to shed some light on this situation.

First of all, let me tell you that your story touched so many people.  Almost everyone took very pointed stances on this and offered very strong options.  Some said “Stay Hitched” and even more felt the answer was “ditch.” All in all, after the votes from Facebook, Twitter and the blog were counted, it seems that 50% say DITCH, 40% say “Stay Hitched” and 10% are undecided.

With that being said, I have my take on things…Here we go.  I am sorry that this is happening.  The pain of heartbreak can be one of the most debilitating hurts ever felt, and no doctor can fix it.  “Erock” said it best on the blog when she said, “Time heals all wounds,” and it does.

In addition, I too have had a similar situation where my first love (who traveled a lot) and I met when I was 19. After a beautiful long-term relationship, I found out he had other boyfriends in other states.  I was so hurt I couldn’t get out of bed.  But eventually I picked myself up and moved on.  I am so happy to have gone through that experience, because now I have the ability to see exactly what kind of person I want in my life and more importantly, what kind of person I do not want.

Now, I know it sounds like my advice is heading towards “Ditch.”  On the contrary, my advice to you is going to be to “Stay Hitched”…for now.  You are already married, and that fact makes this a bit more difficult.  As “Chirpykt” said, “Marriages are not disposable.” You have to see this one through and confronting her is the first step.  Stand your ground and let her know you are aware she is being dishonest.  Then be prepared to either walk away or try to work through it depending on how she responds.  If you walk away, then do so and don’t falter.  Walk out the front door of the house and into the door of a divorce attorney.   If this marriage is to be saved, both of you have to want to save it.  Keep in mind the amount of work that you have to put in if you decide to stay together.  You have to be able to never question her or doubt her when she goes to work, to a friend’s house or to the store.   That trust is going to be very difficult, and honestly I don’t know if I could do it.

I have to say, it sounds like the ladies who commented would love to meet a devoted sweet man.  Thank you for all of your thoughts and comments!  Final tally….“DITCH” but after you see the marriage through despite how difficult it may be. Please follow up with me in a month – we would all love to hear how you are doing.

Cheating is not the answer. It is the cowardly way of getting around confrontation.  I’m sorry for you and wish you well!

Stay M Famous everyone,

Mr M Famous

Email me,  Tweet Me, or Facebook Me

Hello Thursday! Where have you been all week?!

So, this is Hitch or Ditch – Round 4! Check out our newest entry below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  You have until Saturday night at midnight to vote and offer advice!  Sunday, as usual, I will tally the votes and give my final rundown of what the public thinks about the fate of these couples.  Keep those stories rolling in! Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Mr M Famous,

I can probably guess that I am the first guy you have had write you for help. Maybe not, I don’t know, but man, I need help. This is more of a “stay hitched” or ditch situation. If you don’t want to help because we’re already married, I’ll get it.

Here’s the deal – my wife and I have been married for a little over a year. We have dated since we were 14 and 15, went to the same high school, same college, etc. We shared every first. Not to say too much, but she is literally the only woman I have ever kissed and same for her. She is just a really great girl. I never had to worry about any of that crazy stuff college girls can get into. But over the past few months I have noticed that she has been drinking a little more during the week and spending more time on the weekends with her friends. Dude, in all honesty, I really would not have started to worry, but stupid Facebook caught my eye. She left her page up one night – I’m not even on Facebook – and I noticed that she had a chat screen up. After looking closer, I realized she was chatting with her boss. She works for this small little firm with 2 other people. I saw the word Saturday so I scrolled through their conversation. They were discussing their weekend TOGETHER – she told me she was with friends! It is so unlike her to lie. I didn’t want to assume anything, so this past weekend I followed her. She drove to his house and spent the evening. Like a dumba** I just sat down the street in my car watching his house and waiting on her to leave. Finally after watching them kiss goodnight, I drove home. Got home after her and told her that I had gone over to a buddy’s house. She was in such a fog from her night with him, she didn’t even question me.

I go back and forth between sick to my stomach, so angry I could kill them both and so hurt I could die.

STW

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  “STW” needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 3!

Oh my dear Snoop…don’t beat yourself up over this.  I will admit to you that I, at first reading your story, was a little taken aback by the fact that you were so put off by the ring. However, the more I began thinking about what I was going to write back to you, the more I began to kind of understand.  To be honest, I receive countless emails and questions from ladies that want to know about how to go about encouraging their other half to “beef up the bling.” I usually suggest calling in the friends. This was actually also a comment from a reader.  See if you can get him to admit to one of your friends that he is going to pop the question, then your best friends can be prepared to say, “oh can we see the ring?” or “do you need a little help ring shopping?”  Hopefully they will be able to take care of it from there.

My suggestion to men out there… go ring shopping together!  Window shopping that is.  Have your future bride try on different rings and discuss all her different options together.  So, when you do pop the question, you will make her proud to show of her ring.

Now my dear, you are aware that I am going to have to say this.  You didn’t write into me thinking that I would be delicate with my words did you?  I want you to do some soul searching.  What if that ring is all that he could afford at this time? What if he loves you so much that he really was only thinking about the thought behind it?  What if the ring is a family heirloom that means a great deal to him? Be sure to remember to be excited about the fact that he is going to propose and that you have a man that loves you.  The ring should simply be an added bonus.  Ok, now that I have said that please let me give you my personal thought, “It don’t mean a thing unless that ring got some BLING”  {WINK}  I have always been of the thought that less is less and more is more, so I do understand your feelings.  Either way, he loves you! And the ring is to symbolize that! Despite the size….

Congrats on getting “Hitched” because that is what the readers think you should do…

Remember the reason,

Mr M Famous

I know ya’ll know the drill, but just to recap for new readers, this is Hitch or Ditch – Round 3! Here’s how to play – Read the stories and vote – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message – on whether the couple should get “Hitched” or “Ditched.”  Now, of course, I will provide a witty commentary on the story and give my final observation. Hitch or Ditch debuts on Thursdays, and you have until Saturday night at midnight to vote!  Sunday, I tally the votes and give my final rundown of what the public thinks about the fate of these couples.  Fun times always lie ahead at the Christopher Macken web site.  So tune in on Thursdays to see which couple needs a little unbiased advice. Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Dearest Mr. M Famous,

I really cannot believe I am even going to tell anyone this, but I am making myself sick worrying, so I need to tell someone and at least this way I can stay anonymous.

I have a boyfriend that I love soooo much. We have been dating since highschool. We are now done with college and have been living together for the past year.  Marriage is inevitable for us, which is wonderful because we really do love each other. So, in reality, this is not a “Hitch or Ditch” situation.  I am going to marry this man, but getting there is the big problem.

So, we have been discussing marriage more and more lately. We even talked about going to ring shop together, but he keeps saying that he really wants to surprise me. So in typical girl fashion, I am convinced that he is going to propose with every breath he takes. Well, in that craziness, I snoop around our apartment constantly – terrible, I know.  I am not sure I ever actually thought I would find anything, BUT last week I found my engagement ring and at the very moment I should have been so disgustingly excited, I wanted to vomit because I hate it!  I know I am a terrible person, but I really don’t like it. I have tried. I have tried it on over and over – every time he leaves the house, I pull it out and put it on. Seriously, I would never wear this thing and I don’t know what to do. I wanted to run to him and beg him to exchange it, but then he would know I snooped which would break his heart. But if he proposes with this ring, it will break my heart.  I don’t know what to do. This is awful. Maybe I am getting what I deserve.

“Snoop Dog”

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  “Snoop Dog” needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

As I was sitting on my balcony this morning having a cup of coffee, I looked down and noticed a young couple holding hands and walking out of my building.  I don’t know what struck me about seeing this, but I started to think, “Hand holding” is such a very strong, public statement.  As they walked away, they passed a car where an older gentleman was holding the hand of what looked to be his wife as she feebly stepped onto the curb of the sidewalk and gained her footing.  I couldn’t help but think about all the different times I have held hands with someone and the many different reasons for doing so…

…My mother holding my hand and walking me into school on the first day.  Somehow her grasp comforted me, letting me know that everything was going to be alright.   Or perhaps the many Thanksgiving dinners with the whole family gathered in the kitchen before fixing our plates.  My Grandmother orchestrating the event by asking us all to join hands in prayer as my Grandfather blessed the meal that she had spent most of the night before preparing.  I always held my oldest cousins hand. We would squeeze each other’s hands to see if we could make the other say something during the prayer – in turn getting a stern look from Grandmother.  In spite of the antics surrounding that moment, there was a feeling of togetherness that kept us so close with each other.  …That same cousin later in life marrying her husband as they took each other’s hands and left the church where they were married by my same Grandfather that has led us in prayer all of our lives.  Running through the shower of birdseed they were joined by their hands and their hearts.

I can very distinctly remember my grandmother holding the hand of her mother as she passed away.  The whole room was silent as they shared that moment for the last time.

Of course there is the moment when I nervously reached over to grab the hand of my date at the movies or the times as a child when you join hands with your friends in a game of Red Rover.

Next time you are out and about, look around.  Take a sec and think about the people around you that are holding hands.  A young couple holding hands for a short time, or an elderly couple that may have been holding hands for years.  A mother holding her child’s hand as she reminds him to look both ways before crossing the street.  This very simple gesture that we often overlook and don’t give a second thought, comes from such a terrific place, a loving place!  I cannot think of a time that a simple touch of two hands would be for any other reason other than love.  Whether for comfort, support, understanding, love, safety or to help keep someone from falling; it really is a beautiful thing.  That’s just my random thought and observation for the day…My advice to you all today… go hold someone’s hand!  I promise it will lead to a great day!

Just a thought…

Mr M Famous

Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 2!

AK, I was very glad to get this question.  It is quite relevant in light of so many people losing their jobs in this economy.   I have to start by saying that 90% of the votes were in favor of you “Hitching,” and, I for one, would “sort of” agree.

I say sort of because I would first like for you to think back on why you fell in love.  Think of that moment when you realized that you wanted the “perfect wedding” to be with him.  Now, try to remember if his income ever entered your mind at that time.  One reader commented that you sounded like you were more in love with the idea of your perfect wedding than you were with him.  If that is the case then you should absolutely Ditch.  But if you love him, if you want to be married to him for the rest of your life regardless of his income, or lack thereof, then marry him.  I would be willing to bet that in your vows there will be something along the lines of “for richer or for poorer.”  Well, it looks like your marriage may start out on the latter end of that scale, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Now is the time that you have to help him see his strengths.  We all need a little nudging at times (and let’s face it ladies, women are the strength behind most men, whether they want to believe it or not). There is a great deal of pride that a man derives from being able to be the “hunter and gatherer” in his home.  When he faces the possibility of not being able to do so, it is not uncommon for him to have feelings of self-doubt.  Be there for him.  Comfort and encourage him and for goodness sake…scale back the wedding!

What if, instead of a huge costly blow-out wedding, you had a small celebration with close friends and family where you both exchange your vows and promise to be there for each other through thick or thin?  Spend the money on something that will help the two of you in the first few years of marriage like paying off debt.  Then, after he has regained his financial footing, you both renew your vows on your anniversary as both a celebration of getting through the tough times together and his newly found employment.

My final advice to you…purchase the March issue of DIY WEDDINGS MAGAZINE where yours truly will be giving more wedding advice in my column Ask M Famous, and find a way to be more frugal.  Rest assured that your marriage will have many bumps and rough patches.  Just as it will have many glorious unforgettable moments.  Keep in mind that he is the person you fell in love with and HITCH him – just cheaper!  Remember my dear, “The marriage is not the blessing, the fact that there are two people who choose to be married is!” (That’s my quote, feel free to use it.)

Keep those Hitch or Ditch stories coming in and YOU might just be in the next issue of HITCH OR DITCH.  Thank you all for your responses and votes.

Until next time stay fabulous, live beautiful and always be M Famous!

Mr. M Famous

Just to recap, this is Hitch or Ditch – Round 2! Here’s how to play – Read the stories and vote – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message – on whether the couple should get “Hitched” or “Ditched.”  Now, of course, I will provide a witty commentary on the story and give my final observation. Hitch or Ditch debuts on Thursdays, and you have until Saturday night at midnight to vote!  Sunday, I tally the votes and give my final rundown of what the public thinks about the fate of these couples.  Fun times always lie ahead at the Christopher Macken web site.  So tune in on Thursdays to see which couple needs a little unbiased advice. Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Dear Mr M Famous,

I need you to offer some advice and please be completely honest.  I have already consulted my friends and loved ones, but everyone is tiptoeing around me due to the situation.  I am engaged and getting married in March.  I have planned a huge wedding – the wedding of my dreams to be completely honest. The response cards are already rolling in.  So far everyone is responding “yes” and some people have already booked their travel.  I am so excited!

Here’s the problem – my fiance lost his job at the end of December.  At first he had this whole “can do” attitude.  He promised everything would be fine and pushed me to keep moving forward with the wedding even though we are spending a lot of money.  He said he would have a new job in no time and not to worry.  Well fast forward to now, and all we do is fight over money.  He still doesn’t have a new job, and the bills are piling up.  So now I am starting to question everything – should we postpone, should we cancel, should I move forward and hope for the best, or should I even marry him at all?  I mean part of me feels like it would be so selfish to continue with the wedding when we are already suffering, but part of me feels like I have wanted this for so long and the money (or lack of it) is just a bump in the road for now.  I would hate to regret not having the wedding of my dreams someday.  Then part of me even feels like he is being selfish as he drags his feet in finding a new job.

I am completely stressed out and don’t know what to do.
AK

So, everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  AK needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 1!

All I can say is wooooow!  Slow down girl.  Dern.  If this pushiness is any sign as to what kind of pressure he will be under after there is a ring on his finger, he may as well go a head and call his buddies and tell them he will never be able to see them again.  Just as a marriage is a team effort with two people deciding how to navigate through life, so should be the decision to get married.  Someone needs to tell our boisterous bride to be still and enjoy the process.  Building a relationship doesn’t have to be a sprint.  The finish line is not the day of the wedding, and if anything, it is when the race actually begins.  So my dear, take off those track shoes and put on a lovely pair of Christian Louboutin pumps.  What’s your hurry?  I say focus first on graduating and getting employment (that’s going to be tough in this economy) and make sure that going into this marriage you have a firm financial footing on the starting blocks of life. Financial problems are one of the leading causes of marital discord, and she is setting herself up to fail by rushing into things.  Sounds to me like she is more in love with the idea of marriage than the guy.

My advice to the “want to be bride”… PUMP your breaks dear!  Slow it down and enjoy.

My advice to the reluctant groom… Ask your girlfriend to borrow her track shoes, because perhaps now would be a good time to start running!

Finally, my advice to Laura – who wrote me about this couple – Laura, sometimes we have to let the ones we love make mistakes and help them pick up the pieces when things fail. Just focus on being a good friend.

So after all of the votes were tallied from twitter and facebook and one comment on the blog, it was obvious that everyone had the same advice…DITCH!

Keep those relationship stories coming in. They just might show up on the next installment of Hitch or Ditch appearing Thursday’s at noon.

Send stories for Hitch or Ditch to askmfamous@christophermacken.com

Also you can submit wedding questions, comments and concerns for my column in DIY Weddings Magazine at askmfamous@christophermacken.com Who knows, your question may be answered in the next issue!

You all asked, and I answered…

Mr M Famous