Let me start by saying that I LOVE feedback from readers, tweeps and facebook followers. Hitch or Ditch has been so fun, and I thank each and every one of you for reading and participating.  I want to continue to give you a voice, so if you have a salon that “rocked your mop,” and you want to recommend them, OR a salon that turned your “Hair Do into a Hair Don’t” and want to warn people….let me know!  I want to review and investigate them.  Send your story to askmfamous@christophermacken.com. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message. Tell me your name or remain anonymous! We have all been there and this is your chance to speak up!  So without further a due I would like to present….

The Head Case Report!  First Case File….Helmet Salon

Ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you that the time has come where pigs may be flying.  Hell may be a bit frigid, and Gary Busey is now sane!  All of these things happened at the same time around 1PM on Monday. Why you ask – I went to a salon and allowed someone to “trim” my hair!  Those of you who know me, know that I am very particular about my “mane,” and since I am a trained hair artist as well, I rarely trust anyone with my locks.  On top of that, I am in the middle of the process of growing my hair out AGAIN, so, of course, the anxiety was even higher.

Ok enough with the back ground story.   Monday, I went to take my daughter (standard poodle named Coco Chanel) to her grooming appointment at The Pet Set in Midtown. By the way, the Groomer there does a fabulous job, and the staff seems to be friendly and caring.  After dropping her off, I walked out the door and remembered that my hair also needed a small maintenance trim (kind of hard to do yourself) and there is a salon right next door.  Helmet Salon, located at 970 Piedmont Avenue, is a salon that I obviously have known about for quite some time, and I have heard both good and bad things (more good than bad).  So I took a deep breath and walked into the trendy midtown salon.  First of all, there was a guy there that recognized me and immediately struck up conversation as he was checking out.   His hair looked nice.  Clearly, I was looking for any reason at all to back out of the hair trim!  I started screaming on the inside… What if the cut too much?  What if they ruin my hair?  I know I sound a bit obsessive.  That song by India Arie, “I am Not My Hair,” is NOT my theme song.  Anyway, I digress…

…Back to the guy paying for his hair cut. The man’s hair was perfectly cut.  Now let’s just hope they can cut longer hair just as well.  When the receptionist, Lauren, finished up with the gentleman, she turned her focus to me.  “How can we help you?”  Ok, so she is cute and pleasant.  After I proceeded to explain to her what I wanted, I asked her to PLEASE be honest with me. I asked that she recommend someone who is not scissor-happy and would do a good job, and I told her that even if that certain person wasn’t there, I could and would come back another time.   She explained that I would be very pleased with the stylist Sonae.  I’ll be the judge of that I thought…

Finally after an hour of nervously window shopping, the time came for me to face the person that I was supposed to trust with my hair – my entire identity.  ME trust someone else with MY look?!?!  What was I thinking?   I thought for a second that I should cancel and leave.  I was directed to the waiting area where I made a cup of coffee from the complimentary beverage stand and was joined by Lauren as she struck up very friendly conversation with me.  I think she knew I was pretty nervous.  I must say that her level of customer service was great.  After a few moments Sonae rounded the corner and introduced herself, escorted me back to her station and sat me down in the chair.  This felt very strange….Being the one IN the chair.  Oh goodness!  She went through the consultation with me and told me she had already been “briefed” on what I wanted but wanted me to tell her in my own words.  Then she said the magic words that helped to put my mind at ease…“Is it ok if I cut your hair dry?”  AhhHA!  She sounds like she knows what she is doing.  Then she picked up her shears and her comb….my heart is racing and she made her first cut and then her second and before I knew it….. she actually gave me a SMALL trim.  She didn’t LOB it off.   She carefully went through the whole cut, explaining the whole time what she was doing.  Now of course when she finished, I asked if I could style it myself.   Baby steps Sonae…Baby steps. My hair cut was perfect!  She did EXACTLY what I asked her to do and nothing more.  I’m telling you, if you want me to recommend a good stylist, I would suggest you call 404-815-1629 and ask for an appointment with Sonae.  Her cuts are GREAT!  Thank you girl… I will be back when I need another maintenance trim.

This has been a “HEADCASE” report from the HOUSE OF M FAMOUS! Sonae at Helmet in Midtown is “M Famous Approved” for Cuts! (I would like to watch her color technique as well if I can get an invite hint, hint) I want to know if you have ever been. What did you think? Who did you see? Chime in on Helmet Salon or send me your idea for my next report. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.

Be M Famous!

Christopher Macken

After a gorgeous weekend in Atlanta, I put together a bit of a long-winded response to Hitch or Ditch 10. This one was truly tough, and I thank you for the advice you each offered to Samantha. If you missed her story, please read it here.

Judging by the responses, I think it is safe to say that everyone feels my concern for this young, beautiful, bright girl. It pains me to think that she feels like there are only two options.  True, none of the hands are easily played; however, all of them can play out and in drastically different ways.

I am NEVER in support of a parent forcing their child to get married.  In my opinion, it serves no one when you force them to wed.  At this age, the two of them should be getting to know each other AND themselves.  I can be certain that, if these 2 young people are forced to get married, they will more than likely wind up getting a divorce within 3 years – then what has been accomplished?  The child has been brought into an unhappy home; the parents are focused on why their marriage isn’t working; and in the end, everyone is right back where they were before they said “I Do.”

I did some research, and what I found was startling.  For Samantha, if she marries at her age, the likelihood that she will get divorced in 5 years is 30%, 10 years is 50% (which lands their child at a very crucial age to be caught in the middle), and by 15 years almost 70% of teen marriages have ended in divorce.  I got this information from The Center For Law and Social Policy.

I just want to look at her mother and say, “What are you thinking? Support her emotionally and maybe some financially.”  I do think that she should get a full time job and take care of her child if she chooses to keep it.  I will NOT be chiming in on the abortion issue here.  I am a firm believer that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, and as a man, it is not my place to even enter into that discussion.

In addition to the full time job, she should go to college.  She may have to miss out on a few things, but the child has to come first.  It is my thought that at this point she will no longer be continuing her education for herself but rather for her child.  Perhaps Reid can decide to go to the same college, and they can share responsibility.  There are so many options here for the two of them, and I would like for her to see that point.  This is not going to be an easy situation, however nothing worth having is ever easy! Show of hands for those who agree?!  I know she can do this.

To Samantha, who no doubt will read this, I do not pity you, but I do support you and know that this child can be a gift.  You are smart and outgoing, and this is something that you CAN handle.  You made an adult decision and now you have to make even more choices.  If you and Reid still want to get married after college, then I support you.   I want you to know one thing if nothing else sinks in…You don’t have to trade in your future for the baby and visa versa. You can have both! It will be hard, but it can be done! I know my views are a bit out of the norm, but hey, since when have I ever been the “NORM?” 

You can do it,

Christopher Macken

Well today is Monday, I am getting closer and closer to hitting that Sunday mark! Below is a Hitch or Ditch that caused me to really struggle with my answer. If you missed the story of Anonymous, read it here, before checking out my take below.

I went back and forth on this issue.  I have to tell you that, as usual, I can see both sides.  We are always told that you love someone for what’s on the inside.  I tend to “sort of agree with that.”  I say sort of because the whole reason you fall in love in the first place is because of some sort of physical attraction.  I doubt that anyone has ever walked into a bar and ordered a drink while thinking, “That guy over there is not attractive at all but I bet he’s nice….I’ll go see if I can get his number.”  I also agree that as your love develops you tend to not care as much about the superficial things.   Notice that I said “As Much!”  Attraction is very important – emphasis on the very.  I know plenty of couples that have the very blunt, very open agreement that if at any point the other needs to shape up, the spouse reserves the right to speak up.   I truly think that having a strong attraction keeps the relationship healthy.  My father still tells my mother that she is beautiful.

With the two of you entering into a marriage, I think this is something that you should express to him.  Let him know that you want to do all of things that you use to do together.  Tell him that you miss that time together.  Work out  or go running in the evenings.  If you truly fell in love with him for reasons outside of the way he looks then, yes, you should definitely “HITCH” but if not, I am sorry to say “Ditch.”  If you are finding that you are not in love with him because he has let himself go, then perhaps you have mistaken love for lust.  If that is the case, then it is time for you to rethink getting married.  Either way, the best way to find out is to talk with him.  I have said it before, and I will say it again, communication is key!  A strong marriage has to be built on more than rock solid abs!

Best of luck, and thank you for writing in!

Christopher Macken

AKA Mr M Famous

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Thursday has arrived once again – only now it is Friday! Time for Hitch or Ditch – Round 9!  The newest entry is below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  I know the following issue is tough. Please offer any advice you may have…..

Hi Mr M Famous, I really hope you can help me address a problem that is threatening to prevent me from marrying a man that I really do love. My fiance and I are planning to get married in the fall. We have been together for about 5 years. We met in a cycling class at the fitness center in college. He was active on the flag foot ball team for his fraternity, and I was a cross country runner for the University. Since we graduated from college and left our respective sports behind, we have both admittedly been a little more careless with our exercise routines – we were, of course, religious about it in school. Honestly, it is one of the reasons we fell in love so quickly. Our passion for staying fit was a priority for both of us so it made it easy to be together regularly. However, he has taken his careless behavior to a new level over the past 6 months….he has gained almost 60 pounds! It tears me apart to say this, but I am no longer attracted to him. I am still 100% in love with his heart, but his outward appearance is such a turnoff. I am a very visual person. I take good care of myself for that reason. I NEED to be equally attracted physically and mentally. I know he is self conscious and sensitive about his weight gain, so I have tried to be understanding, but we are edging towards a point of no return. And, on top of it all, I have to say, I kind of feel like it isn’t fair that I signed up to marry one guy that has morphed into another. I hate feeling that way, but it is the honest truth. I have tried a few subtle hints and I try to keep junk out of the house, but he is not catching on. Lately, I have found myself avoiding wedding planning that NEEDS to be done and I think I am subconsciously putting it off. What do you think?

Anonymous

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  Anonymous needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

TGIF! I have to sincerely apologize for the tardiness of this response. The House of M Famous is working on a few really great developments, and while it is no excuse, my response was a bit late. My late reply was compounded by a few technical difficulties, and here we are posting 2 blogs in one day. Look at it like a 2 for 1 deal….Most of all thank you for your patience!

If you missed the story of RR, read it here, before checking out my take below.

Well, let me start by saying good for your Father for being the kind of man to step up to the plate.  I am so happy that you have the beautiful relationship that you do.  Of course, the strength of your relationship will never be weakened by the addition of someone else.   With that being said, let me also say that I completely understand where you are coming from.

Years ago my grandmother passed away.  I felt as though I lost my best friend.  We were very close, and so much of my childhood was centered around spending the weekends at her house.  I can remember how sad my grandfather was – he was lost.  He eventually started dating again, and there were a few of his girlfriends that we liked, and one that I didn’t care for too much. Of course, they continued dating, and then after a while, my parents told me that they would be getting married.   I was not very happy, because she was nothing like my grandmother and would never be like her.  I can remember one time she and I got into a bit of a spat and being the quiet and shy person that I am (yeah right), I told her how I felt.  Later, my grandfather sat me down and told me that my grandmother was gone and that my soon to be step-grandmother would never take her place.  I realized then that he was so lonely, and to be honest, his new “Bride to Be” made him happy again.  She gave him a companion.  She may not have been the person that I would have picked at the time, but it wasn’t my decision, and he deserved to be content.

I think that you should talk with your father and let him know how you feel, but assure him that you will love him no less and that you do understand that it is his decision.  This is actually one of those situations where it is not right for me to tell you that they shouldn’t get “Hitched.”  It is, however, my place to say that you have to get these feeling off of your chest. Otherwise they could fester.  Let’s look at it like this, you and your father have been through much more difficult situations.  We all deserve to find love and perhaps it is his turn.  I know the two of you can talk it out.

My thoughts are with you,

Christopher Macken

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Thursday has arrived once again! Time for Hitch or Ditch – Round 8!  The newest entry is below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  This one is from a dear friend of mine. Please offer any advice you may have…..

Christopher,

I am writing to you as a friend, but also as a woman in need of non-biased advice. Please change the names in the following email. I don’t want to make a bad situation worse. You know how people talk. I love you and thank you for providing friends and followers with a place to vent and ask for help.

I know some of this will be repetitive for you, but I want to make sure the readers have the back story. As you know my father is getting remarried this year. I know, we NEVER thought this would happen. I was actually so secure in thinking that he would never actually marry his girlfriend, that I never even bothered to worry. As an only child, my bond with my dad is immense. But as an only child with only one parent, that bond is even greater! My parents have been divorced since I was in the first grade, and my mom passed away when I was in third. My dad is absolutely incredible – he is father and mother – in one person. I honestly do not feel like I was ever “cheated” by only having one parent. We were this dynamic duo working our way through middle school, teenage years and college. He supported me and challenged me without smothering me in the slightest. Of course I miss my mother – she was an extraordinary woman, and my dad has always done a great job of telling me stories, funny, random, sad and touching, which helps me remember her.

Having said all of that, I am now married with a baby of my own on the way, and my dad and I are still as close as ever. He started dating “Dot” about 4 years ago. He met her at the grocery store of all places. Dot is the total opposite of how I envision my mother would be 30 years later. She is a nice enough lady, but she is a bit loud, she loves white wine a little too much, she dotes on my father day and night, she has redecorated his house to her taste, she dresses slightly too young for her age and she wants to be my best friend. Believe when I say that I know I sound like a twelve year old brat. I know the situation could be so much worse – he could have gone the typical route – too young, in it for the money, fake everything. He didn’t, but I am still mortified at the thought of Dot becoming a part of my family…officially. I have just been tolerating her because I thought it gave him something to do. I never thought he would want to grow old with her!

I know I am not alone in this situation. I feel like your readers must have experienced this or something similar or know someone that has. I just need advice. I need to know how to talk to my dad and tell him how I feel….beg him not to marry her. I need to know if I should talk to my dad or is it going to put a rift between us that can’t be fixed? I am stressing over this to the point that my husband says I am going to go into pre-term labor – he is joking but only slightly. I need to deal with the situation but I don’t know how.

Take care my friend,
RR

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  RR needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Sorry for the delay – we had a few technical difficulties this morning, but I can tell you that this one was worth the wait. I am going to label it as another “Stay Hitched” or Ditch situation.  Check out our newest entry below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  You have until Saturday night at midnight to vote and offer advice!  Sunday, as usual, I will tally the votes and give my final rundown.  Keep those stories rolling in! Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Mr MFamous,

My husband cannot have children……..Still shocks me to “say” that outloud. I have wanted to be a mother since I was old enough to understand where babies come from. I think I always just assumed that wanting them would be enough of a reason for having them to just be super easy. I never actually considered that not being able to get pregnant would be an option. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We wanted to travel and enjoy our time together before we had kids, so we spent the first years of our marriage just being a young carefree couple. Almost 2 years ago we decided we were ready. We started trying under the assumption that it would happen quickly and easily. After a year of trying and no baby, we both started to get frustrated and worry. So we went to see my OBGYN and she started testing my hormone levels. The preliminary tests on me were normal so we moved to him. 3 months ago we found out he is completely infertile. The likelihood that he will ever be able to get me pregnant is almost nonexistent. After the shock wore off, I feel like we tried to move to the “we can fix this” phase. We started investigating treatments and sperm donors, even adoption. But I have to tell you, as the weeks have gone by, I find myself getting madder and madder at him – furious actually. I know that sounds irrational, and he can’t help it. He didn’t plan this, but the site of him actually disgusts me at times. This last year has really taken its tole on us and my patience level is just wearing thin. The fact just remains that I want to be pregnant and experience that and I want my child to be a little of me and a little of my husband. And the fact that he will never give me that is just feeling more and more like a deal breaker every day! I am considering leaving him. I am young enough to find someone else that can make my dreams come true. Again, I know that sounds crazy and awful – it feels a little crazy and awful to admit it, but how is this reason for leaving him any different than finding out other dreams and aspirations don’t line up for a husband and wife? Like money or where you want to grow old? I think my marriage is falling apart and I had to reach out to someone even if it is just a blog post on a random web site – no offense.

Rebeka

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  Rebeka needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 3!

Oh my dear Snoop…don’t beat yourself up over this.  I will admit to you that I, at first reading your story, was a little taken aback by the fact that you were so put off by the ring. However, the more I began thinking about what I was going to write back to you, the more I began to kind of understand.  To be honest, I receive countless emails and questions from ladies that want to know about how to go about encouraging their other half to “beef up the bling.” I usually suggest calling in the friends. This was actually also a comment from a reader.  See if you can get him to admit to one of your friends that he is going to pop the question, then your best friends can be prepared to say, “oh can we see the ring?” or “do you need a little help ring shopping?”  Hopefully they will be able to take care of it from there.

My suggestion to men out there… go ring shopping together!  Window shopping that is.  Have your future bride try on different rings and discuss all her different options together.  So, when you do pop the question, you will make her proud to show of her ring.

Now my dear, you are aware that I am going to have to say this.  You didn’t write into me thinking that I would be delicate with my words did you?  I want you to do some soul searching.  What if that ring is all that he could afford at this time? What if he loves you so much that he really was only thinking about the thought behind it?  What if the ring is a family heirloom that means a great deal to him? Be sure to remember to be excited about the fact that he is going to propose and that you have a man that loves you.  The ring should simply be an added bonus.  Ok, now that I have said that please let me give you my personal thought, “It don’t mean a thing unless that ring got some BLING”  {WINK}  I have always been of the thought that less is less and more is more, so I do understand your feelings.  Either way, he loves you! And the ring is to symbolize that! Despite the size….

Congrats on getting “Hitched” because that is what the readers think you should do…

Remember the reason,

Mr M Famous

I know ya’ll know the drill, but just to recap for new readers, this is Hitch or Ditch – Round 3! Here’s how to play – Read the stories and vote – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message – on whether the couple should get “Hitched” or “Ditched.”  Now, of course, I will provide a witty commentary on the story and give my final observation. Hitch or Ditch debuts on Thursdays, and you have until Saturday night at midnight to vote!  Sunday, I tally the votes and give my final rundown of what the public thinks about the fate of these couples.  Fun times always lie ahead at the Christopher Macken web site.  So tune in on Thursdays to see which couple needs a little unbiased advice. Friends, family and coworkers sit down and submit the “on Goings” of your friends’ relationships and let the public be the judge and jury…it’s time to play…Hitch or Ditch…

Dearest Mr. M Famous,

I really cannot believe I am even going to tell anyone this, but I am making myself sick worrying, so I need to tell someone and at least this way I can stay anonymous.

I have a boyfriend that I love soooo much. We have been dating since highschool. We are now done with college and have been living together for the past year.  Marriage is inevitable for us, which is wonderful because we really do love each other. So, in reality, this is not a “Hitch or Ditch” situation.  I am going to marry this man, but getting there is the big problem.

So, we have been discussing marriage more and more lately. We even talked about going to ring shop together, but he keeps saying that he really wants to surprise me. So in typical girl fashion, I am convinced that he is going to propose with every breath he takes. Well, in that craziness, I snoop around our apartment constantly – terrible, I know.  I am not sure I ever actually thought I would find anything, BUT last week I found my engagement ring and at the very moment I should have been so disgustingly excited, I wanted to vomit because I hate it!  I know I am a terrible person, but I really don’t like it. I have tried. I have tried it on over and over – every time he leaves the house, I pull it out and put it on. Seriously, I would never wear this thing and I don’t know what to do. I wanted to run to him and beg him to exchange it, but then he would know I snooped which would break his heart. But if he proposes with this ring, it will break my heart.  I don’t know what to do. This is awful. Maybe I am getting what I deserve.

“Snoop Dog”

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  “Snoop Dog” needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

Today is Sunday and that means it is time for my response to Hitch or Ditch – Round 2!

AK, I was very glad to get this question.  It is quite relevant in light of so many people losing their jobs in this economy.   I have to start by saying that 90% of the votes were in favor of you “Hitching,” and, I for one, would “sort of” agree.

I say sort of because I would first like for you to think back on why you fell in love.  Think of that moment when you realized that you wanted the “perfect wedding” to be with him.  Now, try to remember if his income ever entered your mind at that time.  One reader commented that you sounded like you were more in love with the idea of your perfect wedding than you were with him.  If that is the case then you should absolutely Ditch.  But if you love him, if you want to be married to him for the rest of your life regardless of his income, or lack thereof, then marry him.  I would be willing to bet that in your vows there will be something along the lines of “for richer or for poorer.”  Well, it looks like your marriage may start out on the latter end of that scale, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Now is the time that you have to help him see his strengths.  We all need a little nudging at times (and let’s face it ladies, women are the strength behind most men, whether they want to believe it or not). There is a great deal of pride that a man derives from being able to be the “hunter and gatherer” in his home.  When he faces the possibility of not being able to do so, it is not uncommon for him to have feelings of self-doubt.  Be there for him.  Comfort and encourage him and for goodness sake…scale back the wedding!

What if, instead of a huge costly blow-out wedding, you had a small celebration with close friends and family where you both exchange your vows and promise to be there for each other through thick or thin?  Spend the money on something that will help the two of you in the first few years of marriage like paying off debt.  Then, after he has regained his financial footing, you both renew your vows on your anniversary as both a celebration of getting through the tough times together and his newly found employment.

My final advice to you…purchase the March issue of DIY WEDDINGS MAGAZINE where yours truly will be giving more wedding advice in my column Ask M Famous, and find a way to be more frugal.  Rest assured that your marriage will have many bumps and rough patches.  Just as it will have many glorious unforgettable moments.  Keep in mind that he is the person you fell in love with and HITCH him – just cheaper!  Remember my dear, “The marriage is not the blessing, the fact that there are two people who choose to be married is!” (That’s my quote, feel free to use it.)

Keep those Hitch or Ditch stories coming in and YOU might just be in the next issue of HITCH OR DITCH.  Thank you all for your responses and votes.

Until next time stay fabulous, live beautiful and always be M Famous!

Mr. M Famous