Hitch or Ditch…Round 10
So, this is Hitch or Ditch…Round 10, and I never dreamed that it would be this heavy. I met this sweet girl because her mother has been a styling client of mine for years. Samantha, as we will call her, came to see me last week for her own “styling” appointment, and the appointment she needed extended far past color pallets and accessories. She needed to bend my ear in the worst way. After hearing her story, I asked if I could share it with you all. She agreed but asked that I put her situation into words. I think she is just so wrapped up in the entire situation that organizing her thoughts is nearly impossible. Lastly, before I get into the details, I know you are all wondering how Samantha is going to stay anonymous if her mother is a client of mine. I can honestly tell you that her mother would never think of reading my blog. Her life is too fast paced and texting would be a task for her. So, I am going to do my best to accurately portray Samantha’s life at this moment and ask that you all offer your best advice. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.
Samantha is 17. She is a striking young woman, and because of her looks and personality, she has been living the life of an active teenager – cheerleader, honor club, homecoming court, yearbook staff,…the list goes on. She is a responsible girl, and through her actions since earning her driver’s license, her parents have really come to trust her. She has a steady boyfriend, Reid, and her mom just loves him as well. I can tell you that in talking with her mom, their names roll of her tongue like they are one word – SamanthaandReid. I never hear one without the other. Well, to cut right to the chase, Samantha is pregnant.
Ok, let that sink in for a minute. This beautiful girl with huge hopes and big dreams is pregnant. Being the super responsible person that she is, Samantha went straight to her mother for help. She wanted to have an abortion. The way she sees it, her life is just beginning, and she is not ready to be a mother. Samantha could have never predicted how her mother would respond – “You and Reid have to get married!” Feeling like she has been hit by a bus, Samantha is petrified. She loves Reid, but marrying him has never been on her radar. They have even been discussing going to different colleges. But, being the stand-up guy that Reid is, Samantha knows that he would elope with her in a minute.
Samantha feels like she is in quick sand with no way out. She has considered lying about her age to “handle the situation,” falling in line with her mother’s orders or simply running away. Her ideas bounce back and forth from neurotic to responsible in mere minutes.
Neither one of us are expecting anyone to have the answers, but advice would certainly be helpful.
Thanks in advance,
CMC writing for Samantha
Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.
ChirpyKT on 17 Mar 2011 at 3:50 pm #
OH my heart sank when I read that Samantha is pregnant. My head wanted to explode when I read that her mother wants to force them to get married! First of all, I do not believe abortion is the solution, but she does have the right to choose. And having her mother is taking away her right to choose by forcing her to marry and keep a baby she isn’t ready for. Where is Reid’s family in all this? Can they help her? Even if they don’t get married, can she move in with his family until she can get this all sorted and let the dust settle? This is a lot of stress for a teenager to handle on her own. She needs love and support from somewhere so that she doesn’t make a decision she will regret be that abortion or marriage. There is so much at stake for her and she is so young to have to take on the emotional baggage of a failed marriage. Overall, I think she needs to take a little time to sort through all this in her head. Her mother needs to do the same. You said this mother’s life is fast paced, but her daughter needs her to STOP and be a mom for a moment. Samantha needs love and guidance, not judgment which is what this whole marriage “proposal” feels like. I think she should go to Reid’s parents for help and see what they say. But she definitely should not make any rash decisions like running away.
NellieStone on 17 Mar 2011 at 6:37 pm #
My first question is what does Reid say/think/feel about the pregnancy? This is Samantha & Reid’s decision and it should stay that way. She can get around not having parental permission for the abortion, if that’s what she wants to do, with Judicial Approval. See website for more details.
http://law.findlaw.com/state-laws/abortion/georgia/
Katie on 18 Mar 2011 at 3:31 pm #
First off, when I read all about Samantha, I was so proud of her, and I don’t even know her. I am 100% pro choice. I have had friends in that situation and I fully supported them in either decision.
Personally, I say that she should do what’s right for her, in other words, get the abortion. Or a better option, would be adoption. Either way, getting married and raising this kid is NOT the answer. Samantha is not at a point in her life where she can provide the baby with all the necessities that it needs: time, money, and all the fixin’s. I do not doubt that she wouldn’t love this child, I believe she would, but it will be very hard on her and the baby. I highly doubt that this would be the best for both mother and child.
I don’t say ditch, I mean they obviously are in a close relationship, but definitely not hitch. Samantha and Reid have their whole life ahead of them and can raise a child successfully later.
Samantha is a strong woman and can handle this choice, no matter what it may be. She should be proud of her decision and stick with it, no matter what people say.
My best friend in high school had an abortion and she does not regret it, it’s been over 5 years too.
The point is, the honorable thing is, by any standards, is to do what is best for Samantha. Her mom may be disappointed in this at first, if she chooses to go the abortion route, but she will still love her in the end and support her. I agree with you Chris, the mom needs to be a mom and support her child. Emphasis on child, as in too young to have one of her own.
I have been to an abortion clinic to be with my friend and protesters are the worst. If she needs someone, I would be there for her. I hope her mom would too.