Let me start by saying that I LOVE feedback from readers, tweeps and facebook followers. Hitch or Ditch has been so fun, and I thank each and every one of you for reading and participating.  I want to continue to give you a voice, so if you have a salon that “rocked your mop,” and you want to recommend them, OR a salon that turned your “Hair Do into a Hair Don’t” and want to warn people….let me know!  I want to review and investigate them.  Send your story to askmfamous@christophermacken.com. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message. Tell me your name or remain anonymous! We have all been there and this is your chance to speak up!  So without further a due I would like to present….

The Head Case Report!  First Case File….Helmet Salon

Ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you that the time has come where pigs may be flying.  Hell may be a bit frigid, and Gary Busey is now sane!  All of these things happened at the same time around 1PM on Monday. Why you ask – I went to a salon and allowed someone to “trim” my hair!  Those of you who know me, know that I am very particular about my “mane,” and since I am a trained hair artist as well, I rarely trust anyone with my locks.  On top of that, I am in the middle of the process of growing my hair out AGAIN, so, of course, the anxiety was even higher.

Ok enough with the back ground story.   Monday, I went to take my daughter (standard poodle named Coco Chanel) to her grooming appointment at The Pet Set in Midtown. By the way, the Groomer there does a fabulous job, and the staff seems to be friendly and caring.  After dropping her off, I walked out the door and remembered that my hair also needed a small maintenance trim (kind of hard to do yourself) and there is a salon right next door.  Helmet Salon, located at 970 Piedmont Avenue, is a salon that I obviously have known about for quite some time, and I have heard both good and bad things (more good than bad).  So I took a deep breath and walked into the trendy midtown salon.  First of all, there was a guy there that recognized me and immediately struck up conversation as he was checking out.   His hair looked nice.  Clearly, I was looking for any reason at all to back out of the hair trim!  I started screaming on the inside… What if the cut too much?  What if they ruin my hair?  I know I sound a bit obsessive.  That song by India Arie, “I am Not My Hair,” is NOT my theme song.  Anyway, I digress…

…Back to the guy paying for his hair cut. The man’s hair was perfectly cut.  Now let’s just hope they can cut longer hair just as well.  When the receptionist, Lauren, finished up with the gentleman, she turned her focus to me.  “How can we help you?”  Ok, so she is cute and pleasant.  After I proceeded to explain to her what I wanted, I asked her to PLEASE be honest with me. I asked that she recommend someone who is not scissor-happy and would do a good job, and I told her that even if that certain person wasn’t there, I could and would come back another time.   She explained that I would be very pleased with the stylist Sonae.  I’ll be the judge of that I thought…

Finally after an hour of nervously window shopping, the time came for me to face the person that I was supposed to trust with my hair – my entire identity.  ME trust someone else with MY look?!?!  What was I thinking?   I thought for a second that I should cancel and leave.  I was directed to the waiting area where I made a cup of coffee from the complimentary beverage stand and was joined by Lauren as she struck up very friendly conversation with me.  I think she knew I was pretty nervous.  I must say that her level of customer service was great.  After a few moments Sonae rounded the corner and introduced herself, escorted me back to her station and sat me down in the chair.  This felt very strange….Being the one IN the chair.  Oh goodness!  She went through the consultation with me and told me she had already been “briefed” on what I wanted but wanted me to tell her in my own words.  Then she said the magic words that helped to put my mind at ease…“Is it ok if I cut your hair dry?”  AhhHA!  She sounds like she knows what she is doing.  Then she picked up her shears and her comb….my heart is racing and she made her first cut and then her second and before I knew it….. she actually gave me a SMALL trim.  She didn’t LOB it off.   She carefully went through the whole cut, explaining the whole time what she was doing.  Now of course when she finished, I asked if I could style it myself.   Baby steps Sonae…Baby steps. My hair cut was perfect!  She did EXACTLY what I asked her to do and nothing more.  I’m telling you, if you want me to recommend a good stylist, I would suggest you call 404-815-1629 and ask for an appointment with Sonae.  Her cuts are GREAT!  Thank you girl… I will be back when I need another maintenance trim.

This has been a “HEADCASE” report from the HOUSE OF M FAMOUS! Sonae at Helmet in Midtown is “M Famous Approved” for Cuts! (I would like to watch her color technique as well if I can get an invite hint, hint) I want to know if you have ever been. What did you think? Who did you see? Chime in on Helmet Salon or send me your idea for my next report. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.

Be M Famous!

Christopher Macken

After a gorgeous weekend in Atlanta, I put together a bit of a long-winded response to Hitch or Ditch 10. This one was truly tough, and I thank you for the advice you each offered to Samantha. If you missed her story, please read it here.

Judging by the responses, I think it is safe to say that everyone feels my concern for this young, beautiful, bright girl. It pains me to think that she feels like there are only two options.  True, none of the hands are easily played; however, all of them can play out and in drastically different ways.

I am NEVER in support of a parent forcing their child to get married.  In my opinion, it serves no one when you force them to wed.  At this age, the two of them should be getting to know each other AND themselves.  I can be certain that, if these 2 young people are forced to get married, they will more than likely wind up getting a divorce within 3 years – then what has been accomplished?  The child has been brought into an unhappy home; the parents are focused on why their marriage isn’t working; and in the end, everyone is right back where they were before they said “I Do.”

I did some research, and what I found was startling.  For Samantha, if she marries at her age, the likelihood that she will get divorced in 5 years is 30%, 10 years is 50% (which lands their child at a very crucial age to be caught in the middle), and by 15 years almost 70% of teen marriages have ended in divorce.  I got this information from The Center For Law and Social Policy.

I just want to look at her mother and say, “What are you thinking? Support her emotionally and maybe some financially.”  I do think that she should get a full time job and take care of her child if she chooses to keep it.  I will NOT be chiming in on the abortion issue here.  I am a firm believer that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, and as a man, it is not my place to even enter into that discussion.

In addition to the full time job, she should go to college.  She may have to miss out on a few things, but the child has to come first.  It is my thought that at this point she will no longer be continuing her education for herself but rather for her child.  Perhaps Reid can decide to go to the same college, and they can share responsibility.  There are so many options here for the two of them, and I would like for her to see that point.  This is not going to be an easy situation, however nothing worth having is ever easy! Show of hands for those who agree?!  I know she can do this.

To Samantha, who no doubt will read this, I do not pity you, but I do support you and know that this child can be a gift.  You are smart and outgoing, and this is something that you CAN handle.  You made an adult decision and now you have to make even more choices.  If you and Reid still want to get married after college, then I support you.   I want you to know one thing if nothing else sinks in…You don’t have to trade in your future for the baby and visa versa. You can have both! It will be hard, but it can be done! I know my views are a bit out of the norm, but hey, since when have I ever been the “NORM?” 

You can do it,

Christopher Macken

So, this is Hitch or Ditch…Round 10, and I never dreamed that it would be this heavy. I met this sweet girl because her mother has been a styling client of mine for years. Samantha, as we will call her, came to see me last week for her own “styling” appointment, and the appointment she needed extended far past color pallets and accessories. She needed to bend my ear in the worst way. After hearing her story, I asked if I could share it with you all. She agreed but asked that I put her situation into words. I think she is just so wrapped up in the entire situation that organizing her thoughts is nearly impossible. Lastly, before I get into the details, I know you are all wondering how Samantha is going to stay anonymous if her mother is a client of mine. I can honestly tell you that her mother would never think of reading my blog. Her life is too fast paced and texting would be a task for her. So, I am going to do my best to accurately portray Samantha’s life at this moment and ask that you all offer your best advice. Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.

Samantha is 17. She is a striking young woman, and because of her looks and personality, she has been living the life of an active teenager – cheerleader, honor club, homecoming court, yearbook staff,…the list goes on. She is a responsible girl, and through her actions since earning her driver’s license, her parents have really come to trust her. She has a steady boyfriend, Reid, and her mom just loves him as well. I can tell you that in talking with her mom, their names roll of her tongue like they are one word – SamanthaandReid. I never hear one without the other. Well, to cut right to the chase, Samantha is pregnant.

Ok, let that sink in for a minute. This beautiful girl with huge hopes and big dreams is pregnant. Being the super responsible person that she is, Samantha went straight to her mother for help. She wanted to have an abortion. The way she sees it, her life is just beginning, and she is not ready to be a mother. Samantha could have never predicted how her mother would respond – “You and Reid have to get married!” Feeling like she has been hit by a bus, Samantha is petrified. She loves Reid, but marrying him has never been on her radar. They have even been discussing going to different colleges. But, being the stand-up guy that Reid is, Samantha knows that he would elope with her in a minute.

Samantha feels like she is in quick sand with no way out. She has considered lying about her age to “handle the situation,” falling in line with her mother’s orders or simply running away. Her ideas bounce back and forth from neurotic to responsible in mere minutes.

Neither one of us are expecting anyone to have the answers, but advice would certainly be helpful.

Thanks in advance,

CMC writing for Samantha

Comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.

Well today is Monday, I am getting closer and closer to hitting that Sunday mark! Below is a Hitch or Ditch that caused me to really struggle with my answer. If you missed the story of Anonymous, read it here, before checking out my take below.

I went back and forth on this issue.  I have to tell you that, as usual, I can see both sides.  We are always told that you love someone for what’s on the inside.  I tend to “sort of agree with that.”  I say sort of because the whole reason you fall in love in the first place is because of some sort of physical attraction.  I doubt that anyone has ever walked into a bar and ordered a drink while thinking, “That guy over there is not attractive at all but I bet he’s nice….I’ll go see if I can get his number.”  I also agree that as your love develops you tend to not care as much about the superficial things.   Notice that I said “As Much!”  Attraction is very important – emphasis on the very.  I know plenty of couples that have the very blunt, very open agreement that if at any point the other needs to shape up, the spouse reserves the right to speak up.   I truly think that having a strong attraction keeps the relationship healthy.  My father still tells my mother that she is beautiful.

With the two of you entering into a marriage, I think this is something that you should express to him.  Let him know that you want to do all of things that you use to do together.  Tell him that you miss that time together.  Work out  or go running in the evenings.  If you truly fell in love with him for reasons outside of the way he looks then, yes, you should definitely “HITCH” but if not, I am sorry to say “Ditch.”  If you are finding that you are not in love with him because he has let himself go, then perhaps you have mistaken love for lust.  If that is the case, then it is time for you to rethink getting married.  Either way, the best way to find out is to talk with him.  I have said it before, and I will say it again, communication is key!  A strong marriage has to be built on more than rock solid abs!

Best of luck, and thank you for writing in!

Christopher Macken

AKA Mr M Famous

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Thursday has arrived once again – only now it is Friday! Time for Hitch or Ditch – Round 9!  The newest entry is below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  I know the following issue is tough. Please offer any advice you may have…..

Hi Mr M Famous, I really hope you can help me address a problem that is threatening to prevent me from marrying a man that I really do love. My fiance and I are planning to get married in the fall. We have been together for about 5 years. We met in a cycling class at the fitness center in college. He was active on the flag foot ball team for his fraternity, and I was a cross country runner for the University. Since we graduated from college and left our respective sports behind, we have both admittedly been a little more careless with our exercise routines – we were, of course, religious about it in school. Honestly, it is one of the reasons we fell in love so quickly. Our passion for staying fit was a priority for both of us so it made it easy to be together regularly. However, he has taken his careless behavior to a new level over the past 6 months….he has gained almost 60 pounds! It tears me apart to say this, but I am no longer attracted to him. I am still 100% in love with his heart, but his outward appearance is such a turnoff. I am a very visual person. I take good care of myself for that reason. I NEED to be equally attracted physically and mentally. I know he is self conscious and sensitive about his weight gain, so I have tried to be understanding, but we are edging towards a point of no return. And, on top of it all, I have to say, I kind of feel like it isn’t fair that I signed up to marry one guy that has morphed into another. I hate feeling that way, but it is the honest truth. I have tried a few subtle hints and I try to keep junk out of the house, but he is not catching on. Lately, I have found myself avoiding wedding planning that NEEDS to be done and I think I am subconsciously putting it off. What do you think?

Anonymous

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  Anonymous needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

TGIF! I have to sincerely apologize for the tardiness of this response. The House of M Famous is working on a few really great developments, and while it is no excuse, my response was a bit late. My late reply was compounded by a few technical difficulties, and here we are posting 2 blogs in one day. Look at it like a 2 for 1 deal….Most of all thank you for your patience!

If you missed the story of RR, read it here, before checking out my take below.

Well, let me start by saying good for your Father for being the kind of man to step up to the plate.  I am so happy that you have the beautiful relationship that you do.  Of course, the strength of your relationship will never be weakened by the addition of someone else.   With that being said, let me also say that I completely understand where you are coming from.

Years ago my grandmother passed away.  I felt as though I lost my best friend.  We were very close, and so much of my childhood was centered around spending the weekends at her house.  I can remember how sad my grandfather was – he was lost.  He eventually started dating again, and there were a few of his girlfriends that we liked, and one that I didn’t care for too much. Of course, they continued dating, and then after a while, my parents told me that they would be getting married.   I was not very happy, because she was nothing like my grandmother and would never be like her.  I can remember one time she and I got into a bit of a spat and being the quiet and shy person that I am (yeah right), I told her how I felt.  Later, my grandfather sat me down and told me that my grandmother was gone and that my soon to be step-grandmother would never take her place.  I realized then that he was so lonely, and to be honest, his new “Bride to Be” made him happy again.  She gave him a companion.  She may not have been the person that I would have picked at the time, but it wasn’t my decision, and he deserved to be content.

I think that you should talk with your father and let him know how you feel, but assure him that you will love him no less and that you do understand that it is his decision.  This is actually one of those situations where it is not right for me to tell you that they shouldn’t get “Hitched.”  It is, however, my place to say that you have to get these feeling off of your chest. Otherwise they could fester.  Let’s look at it like this, you and your father have been through much more difficult situations.  We all deserve to find love and perhaps it is his turn.  I know the two of you can talk it out.

My thoughts are with you,

Christopher Macken

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Thursday has arrived once again! Time for Hitch or Ditch – Round 8!  The newest entry is below – comment on the blog, Tweet me or shoot me a Facebook message.  This one is from a dear friend of mine. Please offer any advice you may have…..

Christopher,

I am writing to you as a friend, but also as a woman in need of non-biased advice. Please change the names in the following email. I don’t want to make a bad situation worse. You know how people talk. I love you and thank you for providing friends and followers with a place to vent and ask for help.

I know some of this will be repetitive for you, but I want to make sure the readers have the back story. As you know my father is getting remarried this year. I know, we NEVER thought this would happen. I was actually so secure in thinking that he would never actually marry his girlfriend, that I never even bothered to worry. As an only child, my bond with my dad is immense. But as an only child with only one parent, that bond is even greater! My parents have been divorced since I was in the first grade, and my mom passed away when I was in third. My dad is absolutely incredible – he is father and mother – in one person. I honestly do not feel like I was ever “cheated” by only having one parent. We were this dynamic duo working our way through middle school, teenage years and college. He supported me and challenged me without smothering me in the slightest. Of course I miss my mother – she was an extraordinary woman, and my dad has always done a great job of telling me stories, funny, random, sad and touching, which helps me remember her.

Having said all of that, I am now married with a baby of my own on the way, and my dad and I are still as close as ever. He started dating “Dot” about 4 years ago. He met her at the grocery store of all places. Dot is the total opposite of how I envision my mother would be 30 years later. She is a nice enough lady, but she is a bit loud, she loves white wine a little too much, she dotes on my father day and night, she has redecorated his house to her taste, she dresses slightly too young for her age and she wants to be my best friend. Believe when I say that I know I sound like a twelve year old brat. I know the situation could be so much worse – he could have gone the typical route – too young, in it for the money, fake everything. He didn’t, but I am still mortified at the thought of Dot becoming a part of my family…officially. I have just been tolerating her because I thought it gave him something to do. I never thought he would want to grow old with her!

I know I am not alone in this situation. I feel like your readers must have experienced this or something similar or know someone that has. I just need advice. I need to know how to talk to my dad and tell him how I feel….beg him not to marry her. I need to know if I should talk to my dad or is it going to put a rift between us that can’t be fixed? I am stressing over this to the point that my husband says I am going to go into pre-term labor – he is joking but only slightly. I need to deal with the situation but I don’t know how.

Take care my friend,
RR

So,  everyone what do we think – Tweet Me, Facebook Me or comment below.  RR needs our help!

Be M Famous

CMC

So it is Tuesday, and my response to Hitch or Ditch 7 is below….slightly delayed thanks to my newest endeavor, M Famous Monday’s. If you missed the story of Sam, read it here, before checking out my take below.

Ok, yes I will agree that you should not have read her diary, however the damage is done.  Honestly, from what I see, the only recourse you have now is to try to open lines of communication.  Explain how important it is too you to have a healthy physical life together.  Try new things, and ask her what works for her.  The fact that she has been dishonest about her pleasure level isn’t the real problem here is it Sam?  It sounds to me like you may be suffering from a little bit of a bruised ego.  That’s ok!  Listen, it is obvious that she is with you because she loves you. It is true that for MOST women, the emotional connection is more important than the physical one.   In this case I would say that size does matter to her…the size of your heart!

Men and women operate totally differently in the bedroom.  It is just the way we are wired.  True, a healthy sex life between two monogamous people is VERY important; however, that is where I would have to ask you, “What is your idea of “healthy?”  You have to be able to communicate with one another.  I find it strange that some people will not discuss matters of the flesh when really, it is a part our everyday lives in every way. You see it in our TV ads and on billboards.  We see it in the store windows when we are shopping for new clothes and in the books we read for fun.  So why can’t two married people discuss it over dinner or while getting ready for work in the morning.  This is your wife – you owe it to her to want to please her.

Sam thank you for writing in. Honestly most men would not have, and my hat is off to you for doing so.  My vote for you is to….. STAY HITCHED!  But you both have to be able to talk with each other about your sex life.   This is NOT a taboo issue… it is LOVE…. Just do it!

Mr M Famous

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